Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
