that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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