im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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