Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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