just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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