I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
