i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
