That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dicks are not precious.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
