Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
