Whats the glycemic index on semen?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
