Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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