went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
