I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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