I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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