I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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