..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I believe in your delicious
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
