But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Screwed.edu
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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