Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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