the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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