He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
