im drinking this country out of the recession.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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