a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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