I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
