Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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