I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
