Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
