I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
