I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
