can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
