New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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