your thong is hanging out like whoa
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
