yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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