I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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