Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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