There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
