all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
