I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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