How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
