I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
