I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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