Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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