You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
