Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
