worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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