You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
how drunk are you?
Several
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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