I think im going to throw up on grandma
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
