there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
