I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
