I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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