Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Randomize
