She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
